Today I got a message which included the following words „… through work done with you miracles happen”.
This made me think about what miracles are and if constellation work really can do miracles. So I decided to write this newsletter about “the magic of constellations”.
At the beginning of each constellation workshop I always emphasize that constellations are NOT a magic wand. If someone tells you this – don’t believe it.
A constellation does not remove your task of taking responsibility for your own life. It is not something you do and things change in a twinkle of an eye.
A constellation gives us a picture of a hidden truth that can totally reverse the story that we are telling ourselves and others about our life or our family. It shows us the true stories behind sadness, depression, fear, numbness, failure, aggression, betrayal, resistance, confusion, judgement, pain, illness and even behind abusive behavior. And it takes courage and willingness to take this truth.
And yes, a constellation sets in motion a process that contributes to healing and reconciliation. But no one can know how long this process lasts. I have seen sudden changes that seemed to be real miracles, but I also have seen longer processes leading through stages of rejection, resistance and doubts.
Sometimes people feel that not much has changed after a constellation – only to realize how many things have shifted since then after seriously reflecting on it.
Sometimes I work with people for a longer period, on and off in private sessions and themed workshops. After that they decide to do a constellation and they attribute a miraculous change to the constellation, forgetting that previous in-depth work had already been done and forgetting to honour themselves for the great contribution they had made to this change.
I know that constellations make a difference – if they are done and facilitated with humbleness, respect, gratitude and love towards the issue holders, their family systems, the participants and the unconscious, spiritual and higher forces that are involved. Going with “The orders of love” is vital for me as a facilitator.
Constellations are not a means to manipulate our future or to force certain outcomes. They are also nothing to play around with just for fun or out of curiosity.
Done with the right intention – yes – I would talk about the “magic of constellations”
The magic of reconnecting to our roots
The magic of reconnecting to our family’s strength, wisdom and gifts
The magic of understanding that true healing starts with ourselves but cannot be achieved without including the healing of all others involved
The magic of experiencing feelings and sensations that otherwise we would never have a chance to experience
The magic for all participants of connecting to each other on a heart level – so much needed in this world of emphasis on the mind
The magic of understanding that everything happens for a reason and that shame and guilt vanish in the presence of truth and love
The magic of a space where there is no more “right” or “wrong”, no more “good” or “bad” and were judgement is disarmed by compassion
The magic of understanding that we are all the same, children of parents who again were children of their parents and so on. And that whatever children carry for their families they carry it out of a deep love and longing to re-balance the family system
The magic of solutions opening up where everything seemed to be stuck or lost
And – finally – the magic of being held by something bigger, something that we cannot explain and we don’t have to
But it is the same with all magic – you have to use the tools, insights and truths that show up. And you have to let go and trust at the same time.
So the “magic of constellations” is a paradoxical one – staying with your intention and actively shaping your life without forcing the outcome, holding on to your “final picture” and at the same time letting go of all attempts to explain and analyze. This is when miracles can happen.
Wishing you a “magical” month of February,
With love and light