My last stay in Malta showed a topic that run through private sessions and constellation workshops – it was about choices. So I decided to write this newsletter about the choices that we have in life.
When people choose to do a constellation or choose therapy, sometimes they expect the constellation, the therapist or the counsellor to do magic. Some people are convinced to have no choices in life because of their upbringing, their childhood experiences and whatever they have gone through. Some people ask themselves “why does all this happen to me?”.
Victor E. Frankl, the father of logotherapy and existential analysis, said: “It is not us asking life the question “why?”. It is life asking us: “What do you make of the situation you are in? How do you handle it? How do you give it a meaning?””
And with this, everything changes. He called it the “Copernican revolution”. A revolution, because it turns everything around. It changes us from being victims to being active creators of our own lives. And sometimes it only takes this awareness to make the next step toward a life changing decision.
So we have always a possibility to choose, because we are human beings. Frankl said that we decide in this moment who we are going to be in the next one. And this means that we can take over and/or back our responsibility for our life – in every moment and in every situation.
Here are just a few suggestions for choices that we have:
The choice between blaming a partner for who they are and understanding why we feel hurt by what they are doing (or not doing) and learning more about ourselves.
The choice between repeating the story of our past as a victim and rewriting it as a story about a blessed person who has made it through all this trouble until here.
The choice between continuing being angry with our parents for what happened in the past and finally acknowledging that all our anger will never change anything and the only solution is acceptance and honouring our roots.
The choice between looking at what is missing in our life and looking at what has been given to us or what we have actually got or achieved.
The choice between trying to change other people’s life and concentrating on changes in our own life.
The choice between continuing living in a dream world and facing reality and taking action.
The choice between blaming others for our misery and taking responsibility for our own decisions.
The choice between holding on to our child mode and taking the decision to finally grow up.
So on this Easter weekend, where we celebrate death and resurrection, I would like to remind you: You have a choice and if the last one is only about accepting the situation you are in. Also this is an active choice that we can take and that is life changing in itself.
I am wishing you a Happy Easter from the bottom of my heart 🐣🐥
May your days be blessed.
PS: My next visit to Malta will be from July 16th to 23rd 2019.
If you are interested in a private session please let me know as soon as possible to safe a space.
Own constellations for July at the moment are fully booked. If you want me to put you on the waiting list in case someone cancels please get in touch.
Registration for representatives will start at the end of May / beginning of June.