“If we begin to understand what we carry for our parents,
we begin to understand what our parents carried for their parents and so on
– this is the moment when compassion can enter in our lives and love can start to flow again” (U.M.Bell)
Sometimes it is really hard to be thankful – especially when we had a difficult childhood and we still live in an attitude of reproach, lack and refuse.
However, we may like it or not, we are all part of our family and we cannot choose another one. This family is made of women and men who all had their destinies and unresolved issues. Women and men who lived their lives in joy or in pain, in lack or in abundance, in love or in hate, in solitude or in a relationship.
And like all of us, all of them wanted only one thing – to be seen, loved and accepted within their family. And like us, some of them succeeded and some of them not. And like us, some of them did “good” and some of them did “bad”. So who is the one to judge?
What happens, when we switch our angle of perception from what we do not like in our family system? When we understand that things cannot be changed as much as we try? When we are ready to accept things as they were and are?
Well, then we might discover a big treasure buried under the bricks and stones and be able to see and acknowledge the huge potential that can provide a sound basis for our future lives – if we are only ready to step on to it.
If we reject our parents and ancestors, we deprive ourselves of accessing the strength and power flowing through over generations on an energy level. Can you imagine removing the most important roots of a large tree? Will this tree remain upright? Will it bloom and thrive?
We do not have to love our parents or ancestors – with some of them things may be so bad that this is impossible. But we can honour their lives and their destinies, especially when we experience their own entanglements in a constellation.
At the end it still remains our choice if we honour them, if we are thankful for our live that would not be possible if only one of them was missing. And never forget – you are 50% part of your mother and 50% part of your father – like it or not.
By the way – if we don’t, we will not change anything that already has happened, but it is ourselves or our descendants who sooner or later will pay the price of not succeeding in living our lives to our full potentials. All we are doing is denying ourselves the positive experiences that arise out of accepting ourselves and our past.
Only when all of our ancestors have a place we feel complete. Only when we can embrace others in our heart we are free of them. Otherwise we will continue to be entangled. Acceptance and acknowledgement leads to thankfulness and respect – and only then can there be peace.