What are entanglements?

Entanglements

are every kind of connexions, ties and bonds

that link us up with the fates of our family members and ancestors

due to unresolved issues in the past

blocking energies of love and harmony

and hindering us from living our lives independently and free.

 

Confusion happens when, without being aware of that and without wanting, we mingle in our life with the destiny of another person of our own family, despite the fact that such person lived in a distant past. Thus we are entangled with a family member who for example was excluded, forgotten or not recognised. We try to live that destiny for them or create misfortune to diminish the guilt we unconsciously feel. This is an example for what we call entanglement.

Confusion also happens when for example children start involving themselves in their parents’ business, trying to make them feel better by suffering themselves or trying to take over their places. They begin to become like the parents and disrupt the natural order of the system. They make themselves “bigger” than the parents.

As these children grow up, they often feel anger and some try to reject their families in an attempt to build a new, separate life. Sometimes they move to the other side of the world to disentangle themselves but it doesn’t work. When they remain tied to their families in this way, they are not free to go forward in their lives and when they form relationships with partners, they can never be fully available because they are still caught up with their parents.

In other cases partners, though divorced and seemingly both in a new partnership, still are bounded to each other due to some past event. This makes it impossible to be really available for the new love. Once discovered the reasons for this entanglement the way can be free for a new fulfilled relationship.

Sometimes, if a child dies during or shortly after birth, the parents may deal with their grief by trying to get on with life and forgetting about this child. They do not really give the child a rightful place in the family. In the future, that child is not counted as one of the children in the family and is somehow erased. It is self-evident that the next-born child will then feel like a first-born instead of a younger sibling. This creates confusion for all the children in that family. Likewise, if a child who is born later is given the same name as the child who died, there may be great confusion about identity.

Another example of such an entanglement is when the eldest daughter replaces her mother, who is ill or who has died. The entanglement arises when the family members forget, after a while, that the work is being done in service of the mother and the family, and only for the time and situation needed. Instead, after some time, the daughter takes the position of mother, with all the responsibilities and advantages of a parent, and loses her own position as a child.

Throughout history in many families secrets were held close to their heart. This was/is generally done to protect other family members from the pain of the truth. However, those protective secrets can cause more pain and suffering than ever imagined to immediate or successive generations of future family members which can still be reacting to them.


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Entanglements in organizations

Entanglements can also show up in organisational systems e.g. due to disrespected hierarchies, unjust dismissals, dishonoured achievements of predecessors or other disregarded ‘orders’ (e.g. seniority, importance for the company, disrespect for former important clients or suppliers, etc.).

The effects of such entanglements can be felt by everyone and may e.g. prevent members of an organisation from assuming a position of leadership or cooperation. They may cause rivalry, personal and health issues of employees and even the failure of new projects or missions.